YOU FUCKING SEE THIS MAP, MOTHERFUCKERS?
YOU GETTING A LONG GOOD SQUINT ON WITH YOUR SIGHT-HOLES?
YOU SEE THAT LONG ORANGE SNAKE WEAVING ITSELF AROUND OUR FAIR COUNTRY?
THAT ORANGE LINE DENOTES THE 100 MILE BORDERS OF THE US, WHICH IS NOW BASICALLY A CONSTITUTION-FREE ZONE
DOES THAT SOUND HYPERBOLIC TO YOU SHITHEADS?
DO YOU THINK I’M GETTING MY MOTHERFUCKING HYPERBOLE ON?
THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAS DECLARED THAT ITS AGENTS NOW HAVE THE RIGHTS TO SEARCH THE ELECTRONIC POSSESSIONS OF ANY FUCKING ONE IN THAT ZONE
ANYBODY, FOR ANY REASON, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A BORDER OF THE US, CAN NOW HAVE THEIR FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS VIOLATED
THIS OBVIOUSLY INCLUDES THE ENTIRE EAST AND WEST COASTS, ALSO KNOWN AS, YOU KNOW, THE FUCKING POPULATION CENTERS OF OUR ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY
THIS EQUATES TO NEARLY 200 MILLION FUCKING AMERICANS, OR 2/3RDS OF OUR ENTIRE SHITSTAINING WAFFLEHUMPING JELLOFUCKING FROGTOGGLING MINTSNIFFING HORSEHOCKING COUNTRY
IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, YOU RIGHT NOW DO NOT HAVE FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ANYMORE
THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY IF YOU LIVE ANYWHERE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A US BORDER
THAT MEANS MOST OF THE POPULATION OF ALL WEST COAST (ESPECIALLY CALIFORNIA) AND EAST COAST STATES, ALL OF FLORIDA AND THE ENTIRE NORTHEAST QUADRANT, AND ALL OF POOR MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII
JUST LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FUCKER, NOW A LITTLE COLLECTION OF ORANGE DOTS FLOATING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN
LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR YOU NOOKWHIFFERS: THE FOURTH AMENDMENT NO LONGER APPLIES TO THE ENTIRE STATE OF HAWAII, AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE STATES OF FLORIDA, MAINE, MASSACHUSETTS, DELAWARE, NEW YORK, AND ALL THOSE OTHER FIDDLY LITTLE TINY FUCKING STATES UP IN THE SNOOTY PART OF AMERICA, YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE A KINDERGARTNER TRIED TO MAKE A JIGSAW PUZZLE OUT OF RABBIT SHIT
INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THE RED MEATY CENTER OF AMERICA IS ENTIRELY PROTECTED BUT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET INTO THAT
POINT IS, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, WHICH IS NOTORIOUS FOR ITS BLANKET STATEMENTS AND ITS DISREGARD FOR THE PRIVACY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, HAS NOW DECLARED THE RIGHTS OF TWO MOTHERFUCKING THIRDS OF THE GODDAMNED COUNTRY INVALID
AND YES I MOTHERFUCKING STRETCHED YOUR DASH FOR THIS
GUESS WHAT? I’LL STRETCH YOUR FUCKING ASS TOO UNTIL YOU AT LEAST REBLOG THIS, AND LET MORE FUCKING PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEIR RIGHTS ARE FUCKING GONE
MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE, PEOPLE
cuz this shit ain’t right.
EDIT: CLICKTHROUGH THE PIC FOR SOURCE, SHITSTAINS
Why Society Still Needs Feminism
Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.
Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.
Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.
Because rape jokes are still a thing.
Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.
Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.
Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”
Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
Because Rush Limbaugh.
Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.
Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.
Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.
Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.
Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?
Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.
Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.
Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.
Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.